Malone's Mixtape - Volume 1

Here it is, Volume 1 of Malone's Mixtape. It's packed with amazing artists you should know and all the songs are themed for the summer. So get your beach towel out, slap on some sun screen and press play. 


PLAYLIST: 


1) Iron & Wine - Singer's and the Endless Song

2) Sean Hayes - Powerful Stuff

3) The John Butler Trio - Zebra

4) Jake Bugg - Trouble Town

5) Frontier Ruckus - The Latter Days

6) M Ward - Chinese Translation 

7) Laura Mvula - Green Gardens

8) Alt-J - Breezeblocks

9) Paul McCartney - Great Day

10) The Head and The Heart - Ghosts

11) Sun Kil Moon - Tiny Cities Made of Ashes

12) Katie Boeck - Burning Bridges 

Fire it up!

I finally got a chance to go solo on one of my favorite podcasts, the TNT Dynamite Party Hour!! I always have a blast with these guys, they are all based out of my home club of Morty's Comedy Joint in Indianapolis IN and we have done a couple live "The Michael Malone Show" podcasts together. Seriously, one listen to these guys and you will be hooked! 

Listen to Mike vs Mike

mikemerrpodcast.jpg

It's finally going down! The podcast war that has been building up for years... Granted, I wasn't aware of it, but still ahahaha!

I've been trying to meet up with Mike Merryfield and his Irrelevant Radio podcast for quite some time. We finally got the schedules to work and made it happen in Syracuse New York last week!

We talk about how to market yourself in the comedy biz, stand-up comedy in general, and the failures and successes that have brought me where I am now. We also try an answer the question "What does Kevin Hart Have?" 

Let me know what you think in the blog comments! I'll personally answer everyone...unless you're an asshole. So, don't be an ass.

Sharing Road Stories

roadstories.gif

I had an absolute blast on the Road Stories Podcast today with the host Murray Valeriano (Comedy Central, NBC, FuelTV) and special guest Leo Flowers (Starz Staan' Dup, MTV).

Leo and I share what it was like losing our father's while touring, we talk about the mindset and reactions that go into fighting all those emotions and still having to perform every night. But don't worry it's not all about grief and sorrow, we also discuss our favorite places to pig out, and I even share the stories of getting bear hugged/dry humped on stage in Minnesota and being threatened by a heckler with a knife. Enjoy the show haha!

Sidenote : This podcast has the best intro music ever.

Get a FREE CD for your Email!

Fun weekend in Scottsdale, Arizona

What an incredible run of shows this weekend at the Comedy Spot in Scottsdale! Amazing crowds at every show, and I was thrilled to see so many familiar faces! Plus, I got to bring along Frasier Pup, my lady and spend time with our good friend Lou. 

I felt a lot of freedom to experiment and try new things this weekend. So, thank you, Scottsdale, for following me on a personal adventure and going along with my new material. I was especially touched by those of you who came up to me after the show to share your stories. Your support and laughs meant a lot to me. 

Each night started differently, but my favorite riff with the crowd was exploring the idea of Peter Pan. Think about it, a grown man in tights creeping in your kid's window late at night to whisk them away to some "fantasy land?!"

     Kid : "Wait, I need to put on my pants first!"

     Peter Pan : "Don't worry kids, you won't need pants where we're going!!"

...Are you starting to see how creepy that whole storyline is? I could keep going, but it gets pretty graphic when I start describing his little hook.

Thank you Scottsdale, you were incredible as always - I love you. 

Click a photo to enlarge it.

Get a FREE CD with your Email!

Black-arrow-pointed-right.png

Winter Winds

Pictured: Grandpire, myself and Vampire Mom. Photos taken by my girlfriend throughout our Ohio trip. 

Ohio, you were welcoming and disregarding, eye opening, life changing, terrifying, and downright cold. 

As many of you already know, my step father, Wayne, had a heart attack the night after Christmas. Wayne is the inspiration behind a significant chunk of my material. The stories of his infamous cough and knee-buckling handshake have brought many of you to see me after shows. Sharing similar stories about your parents and grandparents, Wayne really connected with fans. His stories brought me closer to many of you. I've joked of him being a "robo-hobo"  around the house, but the idea that he could be taken from me so suddenly really never crossed my mind...

Wayner laughing at my going-away party before the move to Los Angeles.

Following the heart attack, he was rushed to Marion General Hospital where he suffered a stroke the next morning. Several hours later, he was life lined to a larger hospital in Columbus where they removed another clot, and we thought the worst part might be over. He was unable to move anything on the left side of his body, but his mind was sharp, and he'd communicate with a head shake or a hand squeeze. 

I was doing shows in Las Vegas when I got the initial news.

It felt like a scene out of movie. I was on the phone listening to this detrimental news while overlooking the Vegas strip from my 38th floor penthouse suite window. I felt like a fraud. I felt guilty -- here was a man who invested a lifetime of work to provide for his family, and now he was laying in a hospital bed hooked up to machines. Meanwhile I was draining the water from my spa tub. I mean, Wayne still had a job at the age of 72. Seventy-two years of work. And this was his reward?  

Not only did I want to fly home right away, I wanted to switch places with him. I wanted to go back in time and take advantage of every moment I had with him without my typical distractions. I wished I'd found more opportunities to spoil him and bring him on the road with me. I was faced with years of squandered chances and regrets, and it was crushing me.

We were told by numerous medical professionals that his post-stroke condition was normal, and they were confident he'd improve. We kept hearing that it would be a long road to recovery, but he's showing good signs, and we should "remain positive."

So I stayed in Vegas.

I was due in Louisville, Kentucky the day after I finished shows on the strip. I flew in with the plan drive my rental car to see the family each night after shows. Unfortunately, the weather had different, polar-vortex, plans. Because of the tundra and dangerous road conditions, I only made it up once. I drove through the night to be able to spend the next day with Wayne.

Click to see pictures from the trip.

Click to see pictures from the trip.

Nothing prepares you to see someone you love in that condition. Nothing.

Every breath was a struggle, and the rest of his energy focused on trying to flutter his eyes open for brief glimpses. Each flutter revealed a struggle to focus. His eyes would tumble around till they found the ceiling tiles, struggling to stay open. He couldn't close his mouth--a cruel irony. His mouth sat there awaiting words that no amount of force or coaxing would make come.I grabbed his hand, and mom let him know I was there. He tried to speak to me several times but only groans of words came out of his body. 

A surreal feeling creeped into my bones as flashbacks of him in better health and better times played in my mind. When Wayne came into my family's lives, he fit instantly. We developed a playful relationship of pranks and joking around. His favorite pranks required an audience. Whenever my friends visited the house, Wayne would appear in the room with the swagger of a wild west gunslinger, shoot out his hand and look me dead in the eye. 

"Kiss my shoes, boy," he'd say with arm outstretched for a handshake.

And me, in my 15-year-old cockiness, thought that I could handle it, every time. And every time Wayne would find the pressure point in my hand and watch my knees buckle as I went to the ground to a roar of laughter and cheers from my friends.

After his attempts to speak to me failed, my mom leaned over his hospital bed and whispered, "Make him kiss your shoes, Wayne."

I watched a corner of his mouth start to curl as he squeezed as hard as he could. His hands were frail but rough--tarnished is a better way to put it. I could feel every manual labor job he ever had in the wrinkles and creases in those old mitts.

Mom narrated our last joke, "Oh you got him Wayne! He's going down--he's down! You still got it, babe!" 

Wayne died while I was flying back to Los Angeles two days later.

I found out he passed away at the beginning of what became a nine-hour layover at the Denver airport...more thanks to the Polar Vortex. There was nowhere to hide, nowhere to be alone with my emotions. I just had to act like everything was fine and that it was just another travel day.

This is not the first time I've lost a father figure, but if I'm honest, it is the first time I lost a dad.

Wayne took up a role in my life that I don't believe my biological father could ever have filled even if he'd lived past my 11th birthday. Facing the death of Wayne revived memories of losing my biological father and ignited a lot of reflection and a deeper curiosity about both men, their lives, personalities and how they molded me. During the two weeks I was home for the funeral, I learned more and found a deeper understanding of these two strikingly contrasting men - my father, and my dad. Two completely different people, with completely different outlooks, habits and ways of life -- but I needed both of them, the good and the bad parts of both to shape me into who I am and what I will become. 

I found a quote that I felt was very fitting and that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. 

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

It's a simple enough phrase, but powerful and calming. Even though Wayne isn't physically here anymore, his memory, love and life lessons will always have a place in my heart. 

It was good to be home, I just wish it was under better circumstances. I know it's selfish because there are so many people hurting much worse than I am, but I just wasn't ready to lose a parent...I don't believe you ever are.

During the layover that wouldn't end followed by the reality of death, the support of my friends and fans has been nothing short of overwhelming. I am so grateful to every single one of you. I was inundated by emails, messages, posts, tweets, comments, texts and ridiculous generosity, and if I haven't properly thanked you yet, please know that every single outreach touched me deeply. 

Click to view pictures from the trip back home.

Back in the City of Angeles!

I got back to Los Angeles last night, and I have to be honest --It feels SO GOOD to be home! I am just now getting a moment to catch my breath after the "Even Fish Have Fathers Tour," where I did 27 cities in 17 states in four months. I am slowing down the road work for a few months to focus on projects here in Los Angeles, but I have tour dates scheduled in March and several colleges coming up! Check my tour page to see when I'll be near you!

As for being back, I started things off right by hiking with the family over at Runyon Canyon Park. Fraiser pup was super excited to be up in the hills - look at him cheese'n!

Frasier pup enjoying the sunshine at Runyon Canyon.

Frasier pup enjoying the sunshine at Runyon Canyon.

Brand New Website!

© Karlo Gesner All RIghts Reserved

© Karlo Gesner All RIghts Reserved

Welcome to my brand-spanking-new malonecomedy.com! Pretty spiffy, eh? The super talented Hillary Tribbett, of HTPR, put this thing together for me and built in a lot of cool new features.

Make sure you don't miss these new updates!

  • There's a new Video Gallery up that is filled with stand-up clips, sketches and web series. See if your favorite improv moment made the cut!
  • The Tour Page has undergone a total makeover. Click the calendar dates to buy tickets and see showtimes. Don't miss a single stop near you!
  • Pictures, pictures and lots more pictures! If you've been following my career for any short amount of time, you may have noticed that I am King of the Selfie. Well, I'd like to expand my pics and collect all the fun moments YOU capture. After you see me, be sure to email your show picsand you might see your photos featured!
  • Did I mention that I have a Malone Comedy Mobile App? Available for Android and iPhone. Check it out. Download it. Get free content!
  • Are you in college? Bring me to your school for a special event, alumni event, talent show--whatever! I have a whole dedicated to helping you get me there!
  • PLEASE, make sure you sign up for my Mailing List! The form is right down there--super simple. I'll make sure you get hooked up with updates from the road, free tickets and behind-the-scenes clips.

There's a ton of new stuff on here, but these are just a few things that I wanted to make sure you see. Thanks for checking it out! More soon!


~Michael

Empty Handshakes & Short Term Memories

another town another show

another person i dont know

when the lights go up and the music kicks on

after the chairs are put up and everyone is gone

whats left is empty handshakes and memories

seems like ive been chasing this feeling for centuries

when im on stage im so alive

the lights are off and im full of drive

all eyes on me no pressure dont fuck up

these voices in my mind they wont shut up

wheels spinning, mouth moving

but am i really the one winning or losing?

another town another show

pack your bags boy its time to go

sitting in empty beds and dreaming

wondering if this is really it and whats the meaning

is this really what im here for?

quick laughs and short term memories

none of these mother fuckers will ever remember me

when im here and im dancing im golden

but when i leave you have another full house and im fold’in

another town another show

had a wonderful time with you all but now its time to go

on to another town on to another show

shaking hands with more people i dont know